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Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

Nuanced Newt?

In Economy, Politics on February 7, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Are we six weeks into 2012 already? I’ve just been so strapped for time, what with January being National Braille Literacy Month and all. And of course now that it’s Febru-ANY, you can imagine why my schedule is packed.

Rest assured, I’ve kept tabs on the medio-political developments in this young Year of the Dragon. And the contest for the Republican presidential nomination remains front and center.

With his vigorous rejuvenations in the polls and support-sapping slides, Newt Gingrich is the Ra’s al Ghul of the GOP field. He has been around forever. On a respirator after the pointy barrage of negative ads hurled at him, he’s used the debates like a Lazarus Pit.

After an important win over frontrunner Mitt Romney in South Carolina, followed by a rough defeat in Florida, and a foregone loss in Nevada, he’s pressing on, marital baggage and all.

(By the way, I don’t believe Newt’s wife is a robot the way Romney is. Rather, I’m convinced Callista is actually controlled by a tiny alien inside her head, à la Men in Black.)

Gingrich has an uncanny ability to say the best possible thing in the moment to make himself look as favorable as is possible. Whether those comments also end up being absurd, insensitive, ignorant, or plain abhorrent, I leave up to you. Read the rest of this entry »

Promote ‘N Vote.

In Politics, Television on December 23, 2011 at 9:28 am

This Republican primary season has had over a dozen debates. You might be thinking, “That’s quite enough.” After all, voting starts in less than two weeks, in Iowa. Well, guess what, caballeros, depending on the list you look at, we just barely passed the halfway point of these rhetorical slugfests. ¡Que sorpresa!

Despite the onslaught of translucent podiums and ever-inventive, nearly exhausted ways in which production designers have toiled to erect a new interpretation of the star and stripes on stage, we’re just. Not. Done.

In acknowledgement of the strong viewership they have attracted, the widening array of issues being discussed, and the rife cross-promotional synergies, may I present the remaining calendar:

VH1′s Divas Live! Debate

January 7, 2012

Hollis, NH

In this penultimate debate before the New Hampshire primary, the GOP candidates reiterate that strong, confident, independent women do not have a right to choose. Michele Bachmann deftly parlays one of her answers into an on-key verse from “I’m Every Woman.” To compensate, the men spout off about their wives, while claiming they clearly came out ahead of everyone else in the Iowa caucuses, even though they all basically ended up coming in a tie there. Read the rest of this entry »

Keep Your Eye On The Wall.

In Economy, Politics on November 16, 2011 at 4:42 pm

We all know now that the Occupy Wall Street demonstrators living in Zuccotti Park for almost two months were methodically uprooted by the NYPD Tuesday.

So what?

As I said before, I support the spirit of the Occupy Wall Street movement, but I’m not sold on all the tactics. Chief among these is the persistent inclination of a couple hundred people to live all day and night in, what is by most accounts, not just a pretty shitty excuse for a park, but also a pretty arbitrary spot.

It’s been noted by lots of onlookers: Zuccotti Park is not even on Wall Street. The park itself has no meaning to banker types, and most New Yorkers hadn’t even heard of it before September 17. It was selected as the rallying point for OWS because it’s an open space in the Financial District.

And yet, all day Tuesday and into Wednesday, peeved protesters plotted to take it back, rising and then falling with judicial rulings on whether they could re-colonize it with their gear.

As the Times reported, “one protester, Nate Barchus, 23, said the eviction from Zuccotti Park was likely to galvanize supporters… ‘This,’ he said, referring to the early morning sweep, ‘reminds everyone who was occupying exactly why they were occupying.’ “

That’s exactly wrong!

Read the rest of this entry »

The Occupy Wall Street Tasting Menu.

In Economy, Politics on October 27, 2011 at 11:15 pm

As a reader pointed out, my stuff’s been a bit esoteric of late. So, it’s time to weigh in on some broader happenings. Thus, I give you my take on Occupy Wall Street: that rambunctious rebellion, that righteous resistance, that random ruckus, that risible revolt (depending on your mood, or if you are part of the NYPD crew that has to work an extra shift).

I hadn’t been down to Zuccotti Park since it began, except for the movement’s first Monday, when I passed by while visiting the 9/11 Memorial. After a coup at lunch this week (aka a tasty turkey burger in the Financial District), I was nearby and checked it out.

I walked around the perimeter, scoping out the scene, and eventually walked through the tarp city that has sprouted up, bearing a passing resemblance to Krzyzewskiville. Read the rest of this entry »

Talk To Me, Goose.

In Economy, Politics on September 1, 2011 at 1:27 am

So, there I was the other night, catching the last 15 minutes of Top Gun on AMC, when something that’s happening in the real world somehow dovetailed in my head (it’s been known to wander) with the climactic scene.

It came to me: for the last month or so, President Obama’s been like Maverick after Goose dies. Tom Cruise’s uber-confident Maverick becomes hesitant and unsure of himself. He’s lost his best friend and co-pilot, and calls out for help, for what to do next: “Talk to me, Goose.” (I mean, I get it: Anthony Edwards would be a great life coach.) Eventually, sweating profusely as a dogfight breaks out in his midst, he snaps out of it, and we hear, “Maverick’s re-engaging, sir!”

Now, I don’t know who Obama’s Goose is (perhaps the New Deal-toting ghost of FDR), but after a debt ceiling marathon that took it’s toll on him, it seems like we just might be seeing Obama re-engaging.

Read the rest of this entry »

Homo Run.

In Government, Politics on June 30, 2011 at 9:25 pm

I figured it was a good time to write more than 140 characters because it’s not every day that your home state makes civil rights history.

Y’know, considering that I’m not gay and have no plans to be gay in the future, I’m pretty jazzed about this gay marriage vote in New York state. I might even have jazz hands. Jazz hands!

And yet, I haven’t been invited to any gay weddings or gotten any save-the-dates so far. This is debilitating news because 1) they will be good parties, 2) I imagine they will be “the thing” to be at this summer, and 3) it’s common knowledge in New York that gay men maintain a deep bench of adorable girl friends. (And the gay male endorsement of the straight male friend may just surpass the parental stamp of approval these days.)

Much has been said by now about the overall vote, the well-coordinated, months-long effort to see it come to fruition, and the exuberant celebrations, so I won’t focus much on those aspects.

Instead, I’m going to point out a few things that are awesome, telling, or (if I’m lucky) incisive about this fabulous! legislation.

Let’s start with telling. In the wake of Governor Andrew Cuomo’s signing the bill into law, there are still nay-sayers out there.

These opponents of same-sex marriage raise flimsy arguments to “justify” their stance. Read the rest of this entry »

GOPoetry.

In Politics on May 20, 2011 at 8:34 am

For some reason, the last 10 days or so became the time when Republicans decided to declare their intentions for and against running for the presidency. Or in some cases, continue to jockey, pussyfoot, and engage in meaningless artifice.

Well, here at Brief Wit, we’ve always been a bit more Gauguin than Gaga. In that spirit, I’d like to turn their meaningless artifice into art. More specifically, poetry. Namely, Japanese poetry.

So, without further ado, I give you the 2012 GOP Presidential Haikus!

ANY CHARACTER HERE

Not Running

Haley Barbour, Governor of Mississippi

Boss Hog voice double.
Raise cash and get Hazzard vote.
Uvula transplant?

ANY CHARACTER HERE
ANY CHARACTER HERE

Mike Huckabee, former Governor of Arkansas

Heart him, he hearts you!
Needs more time to hawk batshit
revisionism flicks.

ANY CHARACTER HERE
ANY CHARACTER HERE

Donald Trump

Biggest regret not
comedic, but Cabinet
sans Omarosa. Read the rest of this entry »

A Stillborn Campaign.

In Politics on May 7, 2011 at 11:04 am

[Ed. note: Before the world learned that Osama bin Laden died at the order of President Obama and at the hand of Navy SEAL Team Six, the national news obsession was over Obama's birthplace and whether Donald Trump had a place in politics. Oh, how I long for those days. It was a simpler time. A time of absurd arguments that had absolutely no grounding or deserving of our attention. A time of brash demagoguery and speaking off-the-cuff without the slightest regard for factual accuracy. Sigh. Will we ever get back to those carefree cable news hours and rabid radio talk shows? I'm not sure, so I feel like I better savor the aftertaste. Also, I wrote most of this before Osama slept with the fishes. Hence, what follows...]

Hats (or is it toupees?) off to Donald Trump. His “carnival barking” was the straw that broke the camel’s back and swayed President Obama to ask the Hawaii State Department of Health to release his long-form birth certificate, which he made available a week ago Wednesday. Wednesday also marked the end of Trump’s presidential campaign. He just doesn’t know it yet. Well, after last Saturday night’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner (more on that later), he might have had an inkling. (If he has any political instincts, the strike on bin Laden sealed the deal.)

My biggest fear coming out of the release is that Obama is going to lose the carnival lobby. With that snide remark, plus his support of safety regulations forcing ferris wheel and pirate ship operators to stay awake on the job, it’s in danger. And everyone knows, carnies vote. Oh boy, do carnies vote. We can only hope the carnies approve of bin Laden being plopped in the water like so many a dunk tank victim.

Read the rest of this entry »

Will Obama Get En-Gay-ged?

In Politics on February 16, 2011 at 7:28 pm

While the world focuses on Egypt and new uprisings in other Middle Eastern countries (and boy that sure is incredible), I was wondering if you wanted to join me in changing gears to broach a domestic social issue. I can’t hear you. What’s that? Muffled acquiescence? Smashing. Let’s get started.

Okay, here we go: by the way, the topic is gay marriage. Oh, don’t tiptoe backwards, I already lovingly dragged you here under vague pretenses.

The last time I let the neurons fire on this one was when DC voted to make same-sex marriage legal. After nobody in Congress raised enough grief to strike it down (yes, they get to do that), it became law last March. Since then, there have been a few major developments in the debate to allow guys-who-like-guys and girls-who-like-girls to be like us.

The unlikely, Unambiguously Straight Duo of David Boies and Ted Olsen, prominent Bush v. Gore nemeses in 2000, joined together to push back hard on Proposition 8′s repealing of California’s gay marriages. And they were successful last summer when judge Vaughn Walker, a reportedly gay man himself who was orginally nominated by Reagan and opposed by Pelosi, agreed with their side.

That District Court of Northern California ruling decreed that Prop 8 “violates due process and equal protection clauses in the U.S. Constitution.” However, the Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit (one rung up the ladder) stayed (aka paused) that ruling as it is appealed. Whatever happens there, betting men say this one is going to The Supremes. And it’s hard to say which way the Court would go. Based on our law there appears to be a convincing case; based on its composition is another story.

Read the rest of this entry »

What The Duck?

In Politics on December 22, 2010 at 9:44 pm

What’s going on in Washington? Out of nowhere, our representatives became smooth-operating legislators.

It’s like somebody called in The Wolf from Pulp Fiction to clean up every mess that wasn’t handled in the last two years, and he came through in miraculous time, as always. Obama must have called Congress and said, “You ain’t got no problem. I’m on the motherf#¢%er. Go back in there, chill them senators out and wait for the cavalry which should be coming directly.”

I mean, there’s a reason they don’t call it the cool-duck session. We’re down to the shortest couple days of the year and these guys are suddenly overachievers.

We’ve just seen quite possibly the most substantively productive lame-duck session in over 50 years. Isn’t this supposed to be the most blah two months of the political year? I mean, in 1948 Congress shut that maimed mallard’s quacking down in less than two hours.

Instead, what the president has shown, by persuading his party to rally and negotiating with the opposition, is that politics is indeed the art of the possible.

Today, Obama kicked off the day by signing the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” (DADT), after it passed both houses of Congress in the last week. I’m not gonna lie, I was skeptical that Obama, et al. were taking the wrong tactic in not issuing an executive order or touting the October ruling by a US District judge to overturn DADT, but in the end, they stayed the course and earned the W the right way in Congress. Read the rest of this entry »

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