Insight. Antics.

Archive for May, 2011|Monthly archive page

GOPoetry.

In Politics on May 20, 2011 at 8:34 am

For some reason, the last 10 days or so became the time when Republicans decided to declare their intentions for and against running for the presidency. Or in some cases, continue to jockey, pussyfoot, and engage in meaningless artifice.

Well, here at Brief Wit, we’ve always been a bit more Gauguin than Gaga. In that spirit, I’d like to turn their meaningless artifice into art. More specifically, poetry. Namely, Japanese poetry.

So, without further ado, I give you the 2012 GOP Presidential Haikus!

ANY CHARACTER HERE

Not Running

Haley Barbour, Governor of Mississippi

Boss Hog voice double.
Raise cash and get Hazzard vote.
Uvula transplant?

ANY CHARACTER HERE
ANY CHARACTER HERE

Mike Huckabee, former Governor of Arkansas

Heart him, he hearts you!
Needs more time to hawk batshit
revisionism flicks.

ANY CHARACTER HERE
ANY CHARACTER HERE

Donald Trump

Biggest regret not
comedic, but Cabinet
sans Omarosa. Read the rest of this entry »

A Stillborn Campaign.

In Politics on May 7, 2011 at 11:04 am

[Ed. note: Before the world learned that Osama bin Laden died at the order of President Obama and at the hand of Navy SEAL Team Six, the national news obsession was over Obama’s birthplace and whether Donald Trump had a place in politics. Oh, how I long for those days. It was a simpler time. A time of absurd arguments that had absolutely no grounding or deserving of our attention. A time of brash demagoguery and speaking off-the-cuff without the slightest regard for factual accuracy. Sigh. Will we ever get back to those carefree cable news hours and rabid radio talk shows? I’m not sure, so I feel like I better savor the aftertaste. Also, I wrote most of this before Osama slept with the fishes. Hence, what follows…]

Hats (or is it toupees?) off to Donald Trump. His “carnival barking” was the straw that broke the camel’s back and swayed President Obama to ask the Hawaii State Department of Health to release his long-form birth certificate, which he made available a week ago Wednesday. Wednesday also marked the end of Trump’s presidential campaign. He just doesn’t know it yet. Well, after last Saturday night’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner (more on that later), he might have had an inkling. (If he has any political instincts, the strike on bin Laden sealed the deal.)

My biggest fear coming out of the release is that Obama is going to lose the carnival lobby. With that snide remark, plus his support of safety regulations forcing ferris wheel and pirate ship operators to stay awake on the job, it’s in danger. And everyone knows, carnies vote. Oh boy, do carnies vote. We can only hope the carnies approve of bin Laden being plopped in the water like so many a dunk tank victim.

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Been Laden, With Bullets.

In Global Politics, Media, War on May 3, 2011 at 5:03 am

Sunday night, when President Obama came to the podium, the world learned that America has killed Osama bin Laden. And Americans learned that their tax dollars really work, save the ones that go to aid for Pakistan.

I’ve been reading so much I can barely tell if I have anything original or nuanced to say on the matter, but I think in order to process it all, I have to put some of this down…

The Administration needs to release evidence of bin Laden’s death, and soon: I have zero doubt that Osama bin Laden is dead. However, I am not a conspiracy theorist, or a citizen of a Middle Eastern country with uneasy feelings towards the U.S. When Saddam Hussein’s sons were killed, graphic images of them were released within a few days to show the people of Iraq. Bin Laden is a bigger deal, an almost mythical figure, and if this story is to resonate accurately through the Arabic and Islamic worlds, we need to deliver the goods. This story could also take on even greater meaning when juxtaposed with the movement towards freedom and democracy that is percolating in the Arab world, but not if they perceive some sort of cover-up. So, Republican Senator Lindsay Graham and I agree on this one: we need pictures. You can’t expect everyone to take it on faith.

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